49 Truths

1. I still think of myself as a girl
2. I drink Earl Grey tea
3. I have no tattoos
4. I wear silver jewelry
5. Except for my wedding band and anniversary ring
6. I buy too many books
7. but I read almost every one
8. I’ve known my husband longer than anyone in my life except my family
9. I live in the city that I was born in
10. but I moved away from it twenty years ago
11. I’ve lived in New York, Tennessee, and California, and almost in Portland, Oregon
12. I cannot sing
13. Hydrangeas are my favorite flower
14. I can’t wear contacts because an astigmatism gives me headaches
15. I am a lawyer
16. My two best friends are lawyers
17. I am ambivalent about being a lawyer but it pays the bills
18. I used to be a red person
19. but now I prefer watery hues of blue and green
20. I can’t wear high heels because of my knees
21. but I secretly lust after them
22. I slept one night under the President’s desk when we took over the administration building.
23. I used to be president of a Garden Club.
24. I prefer to be in water than on land
25. I hate to clean
26. I hate maintenance cooking
27. I’m bored by all sports
28. I’m rarely late to anything
29. I pretend I don’t hear the cat crying so my husband gets up and lets him out
30. I emailed a mean, bitchy email about a new member to a list of 700 people instead of my friend
31. I once came out of the lady’s room and conducted a meeting with my boss with my skirt stuck in the back of my pantyhose.
32. I like to iron, once I get it all set up
33. I spend too much money at Starbucks
34. Sometimes I fall in love with my own words
35. I’m afraid to write a book because it won’t be good enough
36. I make an incredible guacamole
37. I have spent entire days watching cooking shows,
38. then I order take out
39. I spend money like water
40. I worry about money all the time
41. I prefer my sisters to any other friends
42. I’m very judgmental
43. but you’d never know it
44. I hate coloring my hair
45. but I do
46. I’ve been overweight since I was in third grade
47. I must have lost 200 pounds on different diets over my lifetime
48. I never thought I would be an artist
49. Writing is what gets me out of bed in the morning