It's never easy, a return, that is. Whether you are landing at JFK in a snowstorm after a week in Mexico or going back to work after an illness, you just have to plunge in.
So here I am, at least for today and now.
I've have a few moments to myself this weekend because Mr. P is on the Cape and I'm doing nothing this afternoon but watching a movie with the youngest, who is home on spring break. I'm working late nights and quite a bit on the weekends, so I can barely bring myself to flip open the laptop to check email.
You know life is out of whack when friends emailing you to get together causes stress instead of a smile.
Life moves apace, however, so there is no sense pretending that tomorrow is another day. Events slip by in a flash of an eye and trying to recap months of time away is an exercise in dull writing.
I am trying to manage my life more realistically. I don't bother with a lot of stuff that I should be doing. (Right now there is a pile of laundry in the dryer since last Sunday and I've worn all the undies this week that your mother warned you about should you be in an accident. Knock on wood, I survived without anyone finding out that the elastic was shot on all of them.)
I still have Valentine bits and bobs all round the house, and the big chalkboard in the kitchen still says, "MERRY CHRISTMAS BABY WON'T YOU TREAT ME NICE". If the chalkboard was reversible, I'd just turn it around and use it next year. Perhaps I could find something I have been waiting to hang and put it there instead.
So I give myself kudos for getting a few things under control. After my favorite doctor gave me a stern talking to, I rid the house of carbs, sweets, and white wine. I have only lost 4 lbs in 2 weeks, but the most wonderful thing is that the cravings are gone! I was on a vicious cycle of sugar/sat/fat to butter all the long hours and stress, and where has it gotten me but in the red with health and wardrobe. So I am quite happy to be able to just feel hungry and ignore and be satiated with an apple. Seriously.
I've been watercoloring. Nothing to show, but just learning to use paints. I never used hot press paper before because I just couldn't control the paint on it. All my strokes showed and it all looked so ungraceful. I am learning to use less paint, more water and let watercolors do what they were meant to do. I have a long learning curve to round, but it's nice to see some imagery appear as I pictured it in my mind.
Right now the sun is brightly shining at 6:00. My neighbor's bamboo is fluttering in the breeze and making beautiful, lacy shadows on the side of her house. Mama-to-Be daughter is more than halfway through her pregnancy with our grandson! The youngest is home on spring break we shared a big platter of sashimi last night and watched a movie together this afternoon. Mystery man sent me a cable so I can use the big monitor he bought me for my birthday and that will make blogging so much easier than on this small screen. And I've been listening to Edna O'Brien's memoir, "Country Girl", and once I got used to her breathy, sibilant voice, I am completely fascinated and have to force myself to shut the car off when I get to work rather remain in the car and listen to her stories about childhood in rural Ireland.
Tonight, I am going out to eat - having a colonoscopy/endoscopy Monday afternoon, so it will be the last solid food until Monday supper. I intend to eat something carby tonight for dinner, and regardless of what the instructions say, I am having my cappuccino in the morning since the hospital told me not to check in until 11:45 Monday! Therefore, according to my calculations, I should be able to eat my breakfast and have coffee on Sunday morning and then begin the clear liquids, no? Well, at least the coffee!
After a day of my fast of broth (ugh) and diet jello (no red!) followed by the dreaded "solution" I must begin drinking at 4:00 p.m. Sunday, Mr. Pom will be smart not to come home until after I've gone to bed.
See you on the other side!