I'm thinking of pulling the plug on this blog. I am getting old, stale, boring, decrepit. The quality of the writing is down, not what I was putting into it when I first started. I have less time for it, and I feel like I've turned it into a run-of-the-mill what I ate for breakfast blog. Maybe I just need some time away. Too many family members reading it also, so I have to filter an awful lot. (no, I don't mean you). Maybe I'll just post art for awhile. When I run out of art to upload, I'll reconsider what else to talk about.

I think that's it - I've run out of stuff to talk about. Or stuff I want to talk about.

Maybe it's a change of seasons reaction. I'm tired of writing about: money, illness, relationship problems, in short I am tired of writing about my life. Can i write about yours instead? It's got to be more interesting than this nickel and dime existence of work, food, bed, work, food, bed, work, food, bed. Anything has to be more inspiring than I don't feel well, he doesn't feel well, the cell phone bill is too high, I need money for this, why can't I have that, time to get in the car and blow another weekend, sit around the pool and watch a thousand people I don't know swimming, eating the same pizza, Chinese food, pasta, and hamburgers each week, waiting for lunch and what should we order from the same 3 delis, posting posts that fail to raise a comment.

Shit, I am in a bad mood.

Or maybe it's midlife and I'm finally feeling empathy for those people who walk out of long marriages, leave behind their kids, and go sit in an ashram in New Delhi or become a Forest Ranger in Vancouver. The stories I would hear about as a young mother and gather my children to my breast and say, HOW could she DO that. Now I know how. It's that shift in perception from raising to maintaining, from ambition to settling, from fervor to lassitude. You know, I want to say, I've done this all before.I don't want to leave them, I just want to redefine our roles. Really, I don't need to cook another Thanksgiving turkey, or trim another tree. I can live without seeing another first snowfall, and I'll phone in another birthday. Wouldn't it be nice if we all went to live in the city, and Mommy lost a 100 pounds, dyed her hair red, and worked as an editorial assitant with ink on her fingers.? You can visit.

OMG, i'M HAVING A MID LIFE CRISIS. How very pedestrian, so jejune. I'm a comic book mom, the female equivalent of Rabbit Redux. And just three days ago I was bemoaning being an empty nester.

Ot maybe my blood sugar is low and I just need some chocolate.

Either way, it's been a great ride.