No, I haven't scanned anything in yet

I might as well admit that if I didn't have a laptop, this blog would never get updated. Once I get home from work, the last thing I want to do is go sit in the computer room and spend a tedious hour scanning images in. If only I could figure out how to balance the laptop and the scanner on my lap on my bed, but then I'd have to evict my husband, who is next to me on his laptop, checking stocks, sport stories, and ebay items.

Once I'm in the office, I spend the entire time on the computer. I've never had a job that is as computer intensive as this one. All of our case files are on line and we use the system for everything from email to letters to notes to file, etc. When the server crashes, we all stand around looking at each other, thinking, isn't there something we can do without the computer ? Er, no.

The impact of computers on office systems is extraordinary. I'm old enough to remember my first computer, the one that required the user to know MS DOS in order to open programs and HTML for word processing functions, and the piles of floppy discs that contained all of our work product.

It's funny how different my laptop feels under my fingers as compared to my laptop/docking station/keyboard at work. My office set up is so cumbersome. The tray for the keyboard is never at the right height and the "L" set up of the desk and the tray makes it difficult to spread out files that I need to review while I am typing reports and briefs.

At home, my laptop is indeed on my lap and the keyboard is sleek and sexy under my fingertips. My fingers seem to fly over the keys as opposed to at work where I feel like I'm pounding away at a typewriter. But let's face it, the office computer is like a minivan: bulky, serviceable, and adequate to drive but nothing much more. My  laptop is a Ferrari, zooming around the net, connecting me with art and writing and photos and poetry and people from all over the globe.

Last week we were told that we were not allowed to go online at work for any reason whatsoever except work. They tried to couch it that home office had pinpointed our office as a source of viruses. I know bs when I smell it and I know they are attempting this curtailing of use due to the support staff's tendency to be shopping for cars and printing out sex surveys instead of working. I say the support staff not because the lawyers wouldn't do it, but because we are in court so much that we rarely have time to check our voice mail let alone surf the net.

Basically, I've come to realize that I spend at least 6 hours a day in front of a computer monitor, and sometimes more like 8. In the last 6 months, I've had trouble reading books or magazines, and sometimes on line friends seem so much more interesting than real time friends when you have to listen to them complain about their husbands when you really just want to show them some sketches and tell you how great you are.

Having a blog is really a pretty big head trip. You put yourself out there and attract a group of people that for some reason find you interesting, provocative, thoughtful, and like to tell you how great you are. I don't know about you, but I don't have a lot of friends who call me on a regular basis and say, "Wow, that sentence you said on the phone the other day was really insightful and I enjoy talking to you on a daily basis."

If only.

My real time friends don't always understand what I'm doing on line. It's that whole "other life" thing I wrote about. One of my oldest friends told me she was reading my blog the other day.....and that's all she said. Nothing about what she was reading or looking at or what she thought of it. The other one of my oldest friends said, you have a website? What website? You know, the one I showed you last year at your house? No, don't remember....

No, real time friends are a lot like more office computer: they are kind of bulky and take up a lot of time, they require more effort to use, and you have to know just how much you can push them before they freeze up and you have to reboot.  Online friends are sleek and sexy, but  real time friends are like that old, bulky hard drive you just can't bring yourself to throw away because it contains every word you ever wrote and every thought you ever hard. And every time you boot up those real time friends, you pray to God that they never crash, because without them, you'll lose your memory.