If it's all maintenance after 30, then it's all repair after 40.
One of the most grueling parts of the day is when I sit on my bed each morning and take out my triple magnifying mirror and "prepare" the face for it's daily application of sludge makeup. Yes, I've written before about being born into the feminist movement and cutting my teeth in the 70's on Simone de Beauvoir and Betty Friedan, but I'm also the middle daughter in a family of 5 girls and we all know that my mother at 80 is dressed more sharply than I'll ever be. i couldn't escape the knowledge that you don't leave the house, unless it is on fire, without blow-drying your hair and applying some form of make up. Now, of course, I won't even look in the mirror without doing the same lest I scare myself to death.
Seriously, I think most women look better with some artfully applied make up. You look less tired, more rested, and perkier with a little blush and mascara. Over the years, I've bought ever brand from CVS off the rack to Chanel. One of my sisters worked for Clinique and those were the glory years when we'd all be showered with free samples and, on any special occasion, we'd drive over to her house to be made up. Unfortunately, that was a long time ago and she's buying from CVS now, too.
When I went back to work, my job was in an area with a lot of stores. I found myself in Bloomingdale's one day at lunch, and there I discovered the Bobbi Brown counter. Expensive, yes, but really, the product lasts a long time, so essentially it is an investment. [Note: we in the know call it "product", always singular, never plural just like we call those things we stick our legs in a "pant" and not a pair of pants. Why?I have no idea.] For a year I had the perfect base, blush, and neutral eyeshadow. Alas, they're all used up and I no longer work in that area. I'm down to the dregs of the blusher and have to complement the rest with the tiny samples that Clinique hands out at "bonus time".
Here's my list of what I need to get rid of to bloom into my personal spring:
1. The Revlon 8-color Expert Eyes Ombre Neutrals. The case is cracked and I lost the top somewhere and the brown I use for my eyebrows is barely there and I have supplemented with the redder brown, that is until I saw the color in daylight and look like I have angry welts where my eyebrows are.
2. The eyebrow brush that broke - don't ask how. I've kept track of the little, one inch long bristle end and whip it out each morning to smooth those brows before I fill them in. I'm tired of scraping my fingernails in the bottom of the bag searching for it and having to then scrape the make up out from under the fingernails...
3. The ubiquitous pink tube of Great Lash mascara. Every morning I do the mascara dance wherein I shove the little wand into the hole as hard as possible and scrape around until I pull up a dregs of mascara that promptly clumps onto one eyelash.
4. Dr. Perricone's Lip Plumper. Moment of insanity after a rare view of the home shopping network - or was it Oprah? Would have been better to take $35, burn it and applying the flaming bills to my lips - that would've plumped them up!
5. The ten cotton balls that roll around the bottom of my make up bag, collecting every piece of lint, shadow powder, etc., until I throw them out and replace them with ten new ones and so the story continues.
6. Those little bottles of yellow moisturizer from Clinique. I don't hate this stuff, but I don't like it and would never buy it, hence, I only have sample sizes. I used to have a beautiful jar of Bobbi Brown moisturizer, but now I pay college tuition bills.
7. Any one of ten tubes/bottles of stuff that say ""repairware" or " line fighter" or "rejuvenator". They don't.
8. The round, empty container of Sephora "cha cha" blush. I will never remember to buy it again and it just adds to the junk in the bag.
9. Which leads me to the bag itself, a plastic, see-through "gift" from Estee Lauder which is too big for my daily stuff, all of which fits into the little fabric bag that sits inside the big bag that takes up all the room in the top drawer of my dresser
10. and allows me to hang onto the: eyelash curler and other detritus that lives in the bottom of the bag. Why did I buy an eyelash curler? I don't remember except that I saw it on some TV show and decided it would really add to my morning routine by making my eyes stand out. If you count the number of eye lashes that are stuck onto the curler with the mascara, you'd see that I have lost more than I'll ever have on my eyes.
11. One more: The make up mirror itself. Used to have a stand. Broke in the drawer. So now make up application is a one-handed affair whilst the other holds the mirror, the mirror full of make up fingerprints.
Here's the opposing list of what I need to obtain to turn my life around:
1. Make up stylist.
2. Personal shopper.
3. Hair stylist.
4. Colorist
5. Stacy from What Not to Wear.
6. Bigger closet.
7. Narrow feet that love high heels.
8. Various surgical repairs to the face, neck, lips, eyes, and legs. (Yes, I saw a show where a woman had a "leg lift". Ouch!
9. That $25 pink polka dot laptop bag from Target that I never remember to go and buy,
10. New hair - but that's a separate list.
(And you all thought I was gonna get all New Agey and personal fulfillment on ya this week with a list of visualize your way to personal success. Really, I'm much shallower. )